When Pritha started her undergraduate studies at a renowned private university in Dhaka, she faced quite a bit of culture shock as she came from a suburban area. Before she came to Dhaka, the number of people she had seen using an iPhone could be counted on the fingers of one hand. But in her university, it seemed to her that every other person had an iPhone. During class lectures, when she took notes in traditional notepads, many of her classmates used an iPad to do the same. While she frequently repeated clothes, her female classmates appeared to never repeat one. And being part of a friend circle meant hanging out at expensive restaurants after every class.
Thus, there were plenty of times when Pritha felt like an outsider. But the fear of being left out and the accompanying urge to be “one of them” were so intense that she would often go beyond her budget just to keep up with her peers. It felt like a burden to her that she had to maintain a certain standard to feel like she belonged to the crowd.
However, Pritha is not the only one with the same fear, urge, or burden. If we look at the larger society, we will see a lot of young people going through the same situation, with many failing to handle it as well as they should. Some take out loans to buy an iPhone or an iPad without thinking much about how they will repay the loans. Some invest in risky stocks or shady schemes to make quick money, only to lose all their savings and end up broke. Others take up extra tutoring jobs or even night shift work to afford their lifestyle, often at the expense of missing lectures, doing poorly in exams, or even withdrawing from semesters.
This practice of constantly comparing our life with others’ and spending more than we can actually afford has turned into such a vicious cycle in our life that it leaves countless people drained both financially and psychologically. In behavioral economics and psychology, this cycle is driven by two phenomena: upward social comparison and the fear of missing out (FOMO). Social media has only made this cycle inescapable.
In today’s culture, social media acts like a game master, rolling out one trend after another and quietly pushing everyone to keep up, regardless of their socioeconomic status. A 2025 survey by TD Stories carried out among students in Canada revealed that over nine out of ten students had faced financial stress in the previous three months. The report also indicated that the main reason for this stress was possibly due to the constant comparison with others’ lives on social media. One 2024 peer-reviewed study conducted a survey among 272 respondents and found that heightened exposure to social media influencers paired with FOMO subsequently lead to a growing desire to mimic the influencers and spend money to acquire conspicuous products. This finding was strongly supported by another study in the same year that showed when Instagram users feel envious towards others, they often spend more and consume more to have similar lifestyles.
Consequently, trapped in this never-ending cycle, the rich try to be richer, the middle class drain themselves trying to catch up with the rich, and the poor end up becoming invisible. The results are increasing personal loans, credit card debt, and BNPL subscriptions.
Moreover, beyond financial stress, there is a deeper psychological cost that is often overlooked. Because most people want to avoid feeling left out, they go through this intense, silent pressure to follow the consumption trends on social media even when it is not feasible for them to do so.
Alternatively, those who cannot keep up with the pressure either tend to avoid or are excluded from social gatherings. According to a study conducted on 762 undergraduate students, social exclusion was identified as an important risk factor for depression since university-age students undergo many changes and life transitions. This is not limited to students only; people of all ages may face depression if they feel left out. The results of a systematic review among older people showed that non-social individuals are prone to depression, and according to the World Health Organization, social isolation is considered one of the most important risks that contribute to mental health problems among older people.
Moreover, when people feel left out, it can leave a lasting impact on their minds. A 2025 study published in PLOS One that tracked 1,400 adults in South Korea found that the more people felt like they were excluded, the lower their self-esteem became. The study also revealed that it is not just a temporary bad mood. Although mental health is seen with much importance these days, this issue is not talked about enough and its psychological costs are often ignored. The sense of belonging, which is a basic psychological need of all humans, is also hampered due to this issue. Thus, the mental burden, lower self-esteem, the regret of not getting there are all caused by the feeling of being left out.
Humans are social creatures. We are meant to belong somewhere. It is our default nature. But somewhere, somehow, we forgot that belonging does not have to come at the expense of financial or psychological costs. We forgot that life is not a competition. Everyone has got their own pace, their own journey, their own destination. So the next time you feel tempted to buy a new phone or a new clothing item or a new gadget, especially after a scrolling session on Facebook or Instagram, pause for a moment and ask yourself if you really need this item or if you want it simply because you want to belong.
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